Why do you chant "Cena Sucks"? (Part 2 of 2)
And now, finally, we hear their voices. Individual voices, mind you, not just a collective mish-mosh of animosity spewed in the brightly-colored direction of John Cena. Yesterday we featured love from the Cenation itself, but we also polled those members of the WWE Universe who boo the Cenation leader, cheer for his doom at the hands of Kane or The Rock, and scrounge up every one of those “Cena Sucks” shirts they can get their hands on. These are the fans who jeer Cena at every turn, who scream bile from the stands and whose brains defensively zoom to a "happy place" whenever Justin Roberts yells that “JOOOOOHHHHHNNNN CEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNAAAA!!!” is in the building.
So yeah, what we’re basically trying to say is they do not like the guy, and we at WWE.com sorted painstakingly through this intricate tapestry of “Haterade” to pick some of the most telling, passionate and common gripes against Cena. Here’s what they had to say.
The WWE Universe Thinks #CenaSucks Because …
They’re Tired of His Shtick: Perhaps the most common complaint among the boobirds was that the Cenation leader has become predictable on the mic and in the ring, and would be better off if he returned to his edgier ways of the early ‘00s. Joseph Fadoir wrote on Facebook, “He's lost his edge. He was better in 2004 when he was hungry for success. Ever since he won his first WWE title it seems he just goes through the motions and certain opponents have to bring the fight out of him … He doesn't have to change his values. Just a few tweaks here and there. He's missing the intensity he once had.” Fadoir finished his well-thought post with a simple “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
He’s Hulk Hogan All Over Again: In some circles this might not be a bad thing, but it seems the current crop of fans doesn’t take kindly to Cena imitating the Hulkster’s superhuman tendencies from back in the '80s, likening Cena's "Five Moves of Doom" to the Hulk Up-Atomic Leg Drop that would inevitably come at the end of Hogan's matches. To wit, Mike Stewart on Facebook wrote he boos Cena, “Because one Hulk Hogan was enough!”
He Hogs the Spotlight: Alternately, Kanisha QueenBee Powell wrote on Facebook that she DOESN’T hate Cena; she just wishes he’d let other guys take the spotlight. “I understand he was the money maker for WWE and he still is because hate him or love him, you come out to see him. I just say let someone else shine because [there] are better and brighter stars.”
On Twitter, @DominicanGlory posted that Cena was “bland” and had been “shoved down [his] throat for almost a decade.” He said some other stuff too, but we can’t really print it here.
And finally, @dcblakglasses tweeted “I don’t hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I hate this idea that you're the best." Which we’re pretty sure he stole from somebody, though for the life of us we can’t figure out who …
They Think He Can’t Wrestle: “he can’t even take a bump and he runs like a penguin,” @guidaoust tweeted. For the record, the average foot speed of a penguin is 2.4 mph, so there’s probably a second, hidden insult in there as well.
It’s a Matter of Math: “I’m 50/50 so he sucks,” Mikey Mastuzik wrote on Facebook. Um, how are you with logarithms, Mikey?
Because They Just Do: In the same way that some people just don’t like ice cream, John Cena is just not appealing to a certain sect of the WWE Universe and that’s all there is to it. @Borrachach simply tweeted “#CenaSucks” until he filled up the 140 character limit, pausing only for space breaks.
@MIZfitKrista was much more succinct, tweeting, “@WWEUniverse #CenaSucks and i say that because well....Im a hater.”
And @NutsythaBroski summed it up: “Simple...... cause we've Cenanuff #CenaSucks.”
In all honesty, we’re pretty sure Cena would appreciate the pun.
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